Monday, December 7, 2015

Little Set Backs in the Creative Process

I belong to a songwriting group and the rules are pretty simple.  Each week, usually on Tuesday, the "boss" of the group sends out a word via email. By Sunday at midnight, we are suppose to have written, recorded and submitted our new song, with that word somehow weaved into it.

It's fun.  And it's easier than it might sound.  It's weird how the brain works. Given a suggestion, a deadline, and very little pressure, nice surprises can happen.

I'm always happy after I've written a song.  Even if it's not a great one.  Even if it's sort of a shitty one.  Because I've created a brand new thing, that wasn't here before.  There is something very powerful in that, for me.

my biggest fans, and the only ones I'm NOT shy around
I got up a couple of hours ago because I was just sort of tossing and turning in my bed.  (Around 4am) I felt so unsettled because although I have written my song for the week, I haven't been able to record it.  My husband has not been traveling as of late, and has been working from home.  His home office shares a wall with my studio.  I'm super timid about the creative process if anyone- other than Lucy and Ricky, are around.  Believe me, I KNOW that Fermin isn't listening, and is far too busy with his own work to care what I'm doing in here. But I just feel stifled. And I know-- It's not him- It's me!

So as the tossing and turning stuff was going on, I thought, "Hey, I could get out of bed and record my song now- I will have barely missed the deadline.  By the time the rest of the people in my songwriting group wake up and turn on their computers, my song will be waiting for them in their inbox.

But it didn't turn out that way.  I played and whispered my song while I added and changed some of the lyrics.  So I was productive.  And it wasn't time wasted.  But our bedroom is just across the hall from my studio and I just couldn't sing above a whisper knowing someone might overhear me. So I still haven't made my recording.

I know this makes very little sense.  I'm recording it in the first place, with the intention that other people will hear it. So what is the big deal if Fermin (or anyone for that matter) hears me when I'm recording it?

But it is what it is.  And I am what I am. So my song won't be waiting for the song group first thing this morning.  But eventually, and hopefully sometime today, I'll find a little window of opportunity...

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